Hitting Pan: Cake, Cocktails, Takeout, and TV
May 2026
Hi Lovelies!
Hitting Pan has always been about finishing something up and declaring my delight in how it impacted my life, whether it was a T-shirt, a moisturizer, or the cutest shape of pasta in existence.
I lost my dad on April 27th. Along with the stunning range of emotions that has followed, I’ve taken special note of the bright(er) spots in my daily life, and am actively clocking how these little things balance the rougher stuff.
These silver linings include, in no particular order:
cake;
my bedroom upgrade;
the tastiest takeout in Fort Greene, Brooklyn (where I live);
the only tequila sour recipe you need;
and the shows distracting me on demand.
I’m also including a really, really annoying book that I will harp about to whoever will listen, because complaining is cathartic, too.
I’m self-employed, and the overwhelming majority of my income comes from paid subscriptions to this newsletter. Finding time and space to write and develop recipes hasn’t been easy for me the past couple of weeks. If you have been here a while and thought about signing up, this would be an amazing time to support me.
Spring Sprang Sprung
During Margie’s twice-a-day neighborhood walks, I have decided that grieving in the spring seems way better than being sad in the winter. We live two blocks from Fort Greene Park, where there’s a particular thin grass that comes up in the spring that Marge loves to snack on. While I wait for her to finish her salad course, I get to gander on trees heavy with greenery and blooms, along with plenty of flower sightings—tulips, lilacs, rhododendron, magnolia, cherry blossoms1.
In fact, I’m an early spring adopter: Way back in March, I welcomed the season with a Tea + Reading Party, where I got to meet 50 of you. For the party, Lauren Schofield took two of my recipes and several pounds of Plugrà butter and transformed one toasted sesame cake and one dark cocoa-banana into literal works of art.
Some people lose their appetite after something like this. Turns out I’m the kind of person who just remembered she has several pieces of those cakes in the freezer. Maybe I can’t bring my dad back, but I can eat cake! (Like I said, it’s the little things.)
To honor the power of cake, here is the recipe for my Toasted Sesame Cake, now with no paywall. (You can get the Banana Bread with Dark Cocoa and Peanuts here.) It’s got the spirit of an olive oil cake and is fragrant with vanilla, lemon, and sesame. I think the texture is even better the day after baking, and yes: it freezes really well.
Here’s the pdf and plain text.
Toasted Sesame Cake
Advance recipe drop from Food is a Feeling (Sept. 2026)
Makes one 9-inch cake
¾ cup (6 ounces) chilled unsalted butter
Vegetable oil, for cake pan
2 tablespoons (30 g) tahini
2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil (26g)
1 tablespoon (18g) white or yellow miso
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3/4 cup (144g) sugar, plus 2 tablespoons (24g) for topping the cake
2 lemons
1 cup (120g) all-purpose flour
⅓ cup (42 grams) fine almond flour
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 ½ teaspoons (7g) baking powder
½ teaspoon (2g) baking soda
3 large eggs
4 tablespoons (60ml) toasted sesame seeds, divided
Preheat oven to 375°F. Cut the butter into tablespoon-sized pieces and let them temper while you measure your ingredients and toast the sesame seeds. You want the butter to be pliable and cool when it’s time to mix the batter. If you cannot bend the butter without it breaking, it is still too cold. Lightly grease a 9-inch cake pan and line the bottom with a round of parchment paper.
In a small bowl, mix together the tahini, sesame oil, miso, vanilla, and ¼ cup warm water until no lumps of miso remain. Set aside.
Put 3/4 cup sugar in the bowl of a standing mixer (or large bowl, if using beaters) and grate the zest of both lemons over (about 1 tablespoon). Use your fingers to thoroughly work the zest into the sugar. Add the all-purpose flour, almond flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda, and comb through with your hands to combine and break up any lumps.
Reclining in My Bed Chamber
Months ago—when it was still winter—I started redecorating my bedroom, inspired singularly by the orange-patterned fabric in the rendering, above. I don’t know where I found it, but it was I-can’t-live-without-this at first sight. Fixated, I hatched a plan to hang it on the wall behind my headboard, and Jessy Smith at Minimizing NYC created a rendering to help me plot and plan it out.
I intended to hang the fabric like a curtain, floor to ceiling, wall to wall … which was a beautiful vision, untilI found out how much that would cost (anyone else have an incredible talent for picking out the most expensive option before seeing a single price tag???). I was okay with a less voluminous effect, so I cut the quantity in half and it still makes a statement.
My architect friends Michael and Jaclyn at Varlands (the firm that designed my kitchen!) kindly placed the wholesale order for me. During the months of waiting that ensued, I repainted, changed all my art around, and accepted the fact that I didn’t have funds left over for a new rug.2
Finally, at the end of December, the fabric arrived, and I immediately handed it off to curtain expert, Kelley Peters-Patel at Picnic House Drapers. January and February slogged along, and in March, Kelley came back to install the curtain.
I’m not an interiors person—that was firmly the domain of my ex—and it hasn’t been easy for me to trust my instincts about making design-y changes since becoming single. Until the fabric went up, 15% of me was sure I’d made a huge mistake and would deeply regret this folly and the misuse of funds. But the 85% (and input from actual experts) prevailed: I am obsessed with my bedroom. I love the way my bedside lamps reflect an orange glow off the fabric onto the pages of my books; I love how cozy and muffled it feels in there; and I love lying on my bed with the fabric behind me while I stare at the opposite side of the room (I’ve been lying in bed quite a bit lately).
If spring is about reaping what you sow, this bedroom project is the bulbs I planted in the dead of winter. (In reality, I forgot to plant tulips, which have otherwise bloomed in my backyard for the past 10 years, lol.)
Takeout and TV
Aside from the recipes I’ve got in the works for Food Processing, I haven’t been doing much cooking. I have, instead, been ordering in or taking out (see above re: my resilient appetite).
These business keep me full (and are all cute/fun enough to visit in person, too):
Zhong Zhong. I always get the chilil wontons and the Szechuan braised beef noodle soup. 10/10.
Sukh Thai. Working through a fixation with the Kea Mao (with squid) and the Kana Moo Grob—somehow the crispy skin on the pork belly stays that way, even during delivery wait times.
Burritos Juarez. I live close enough to this viral spot to jump in during off times—the lines for the handmade flour tortillas get insane. I always get the frijoles con queso burrito; Cosmo loves the pork colorado. Their breakfast burritos also slap.
TV is a wonderful, powerful, benevolent distraction. When a show is on, I’m good. When the show stops … I need to put on a new show.
I’m watching The Comeback (started with season one!), The Pitt, DTF St. Louis, Euphoria (new season is insanely good, I think!), Survivor 50, RHOBH, Summer House (used to love Wes, now convinced he is a full-on demon), Beef (season one is better, but I’ll finish the new one), Rupaul’s Drag Race (season 18 is excellent), Culinary Cup (enjoying way more than I expected; Padma forever), Love on the Spectrum (newest season, I’ve watched all the others), and a lot of Hasan Piker’s streams on YouTube. Thinking about rewatching Villanelle.
I’m Centering Tequila
I know better than to drink a lot right now, but if I’m having one cocktail (and I am), it’s a tequila sour. My friend Ross’s ratio is magic, and I’m sharing his recipe below. I like Espolòn or Arette tequila for this; it’s also great with mezcal, or you can go 50/50 for a lightly smoky vibe. It is terrific with lime juice, and equally delicious with lemon; I’ve used some and some, and that’s also been fab. He would like you to shake it with an egg white, which is how you make a proper, frothy, velvety sour, but I’m just not equipped to deal with that right now.
Ross’s Tequila Sour
Makes 1 cocktail
1 egg white (optional)
2 1/4 ounces tequila blanco
1 ounce fresh lime juice
1 ounce simple syrup
3 dashes orange bitters
Ice
If using egg white: Put the egg white into a cocktail shaker, cover, and shake vigorously until the egg white is foamy and opaque, about 15 seconds. (If not using egg white, skip that step.) Pour in the tequila, lime juice, simple syrup, and shake in the bitters.
Fill the shaker with ice, then cover and shake enthusiastically and noisily until the hand touching the cocktail shaker seems like it is going to freeze and fall off. Do not stop until the risk of physical injury seems real. Shaking ensures the drink is aerated, properly diluted, and exquisitely cold.
Strain the tequila sour into a coupe glass or a rocks glass filled with ice.
Books I Liked and One I Realllllly Didn’t
Empire of AI by Karen Hao (audiobook): brilliant, life changing. I feel so much smarter now.
The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro: dreamy and the right amount of weird.
Big Swiss by Jen Beagin: laugh-out-loud funny, tortured love story.
Famesick, by Lena Dunham. I put it down at the end and realized I felt the same as when I finished A Little Life. Body horror, pain porn. Anyone else??
***Finally, the divorce memoir that everyone is loving and I was very excited about and then absolutely, completely, totally couldn’t stand.
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