HITTING PAN: HIGH SUMMER
mostly things I love, and one thing I don't!
Hello fellow processors! Welcome back to another installment of Things I Used Up and Look Forward to Purchasing Again. Taken together, this collection is beach, bugs, bread, snacks, and one thing I would NOT purchase again.
FREQUENT PARKER
One of the smartest, grown-up things I’ve done this summer is purchase a parking pass for the entire season out at the Jacob Riis parking lot. There’s a ton of plover-saving happening on the far end of Riis, making it a little more difficult to get to Fort Tilden, which is where I really want to be. After parking at the far end of Riis, I’ve got to walk down the boardwalk, cut through the golf path, cruise through some back road that in the olden days you could sneak into with your car, and then head through the dunes to Fort Tilden. It’s worth it to be on a less crowded beach with cooler people, IMHO. And since a day pass is $20 and the whole season is $100, I am now motivated to beach it as often as possible!! If you’re not in NYC, please take this as a sign to start taking recreating seriously. We have—what—8 weeks of summer left??? LFG!!
MOSQUITO-GATE 🦟
For the first time in a few years, I rented a beach house near Montauk, NY for a couple of weeks this summer (heading there soon and will report back!). Because being covered with itchy welts is not fun or cool, I picked up another one of these rechargeable Thermacell mosquito repellers to bring with me (I have two at home already). Mosquitoes are the worst, but they think I’m the best. This thing is incredible—park it outside and you will be in a whiny buzz-free, bite-free zone for hours. I don’t know what is being emitted from the little refill cartridges and I don’t care. Don’t ruin this for me.
NOT THAT KIND OF SPRITZ
As great as the Thermacell is, you can’t take it on a walk with you. When only a bug spray will do, this is my pick for 2024. And not just for outdoor adventures! I often have to spray my ankles when I’m in the kitchen making dinner. Rude! Sometimes I watch those poor, stupid people on Naked and Afraid get annihilated by mosquitoes and I spray some of this on me just to be safe. This one from Off! doesn’t smell, isn’t greasy, and it works. I am organic-local-everything-always except when it comes to mosquitoes. Then it’s DEET. I know, not good. Then again, I don’t have Dengue fever, so maybe it is good.
DAMAGE DETERRENT
Okay, one more for the outdoors and then I’m moving onto snacks! The only way I will wear SPF every day is if it doesn’t seem like I’m putting on SPF. Despite being a very late-adopting moisturizer person, I’ve now made moisturizer part of my daily routine. That was the gateway habit I needed. This SPF 40 from Supergoop feels like a light moisturizer, doesn’t smell like sunscreen, and absorbs quickly. I keep it right next to the sink, a convenient reminder to slap it on after brushing my teeth and before walking Margie. It’s also a nice layer underneath makeup. I also use Supergoop Glowscreen, which delivers a super subtle shimmer with the same SPF 40 protection, and it’s very pretty as a primer. I even gave a Glowscreen to my mom for Mother’s Day!
HOT SOUR CRUNCHY COLD
Who else is enjoying the mother-daughter pickle-tasting duo? Just me? Not saying it’s all their doing, but I am on a pickle KICK. I love a half sour more than a full sour, but I appreciate a lot of pickled things besides cucumbers (see: kimchi!). That said, I am crushing hard on McClure’s spicy mini pickles. They are so sour, so salty, so crunchy, so spicy! They are unimpeachable. They are flawless. A wee sip of the brine will ready you for the day, I’ll tell you what. Honorable mention for the spicy spears from Grillo’s. Excellent, though a couple notches down on the crunch-factor.
CHEDDAR WEATHER
Picked up this Cabot horseradish cheddar while hungry-shopping recently—something about the horseradish flavor profile got me. Such a good snacking cheese. As soon as I got home I had it on some pretzel thins and since then have shingled it into turkey sandwiches and a quesadilla or two. You know how some people put a mozzarella stick in a Bloody Mary? (They do.) Are you one of them? Stick a cube of this cheddar on a skewer and dunk it in your drink instead!
BELLY UP TO THE (PROTEIN) BAR
Remember in January how I was like: Sleep, Routine, Protein? I had goals then, and I have … the same goals now. I’m trying! I go to sleep at 2 A.M. I wish I could explain. My gym schedule is a garbage heap. And some days I try to eat more protein. I’m not a protein bar aficionado by any means, but the Built Puff bars have a weird enough texture to keep me intrigued. Like a stretchy soft gummy, or a firm Mallomar center. “Squishy” is an accurate descriptor. I keep them in the fridge. They’re a little on the sweet side. I have an ambivalent attitude towards them, and yet—I keep eating them. An odd dynamic, to be sure. It is almost like a restaurant that you feel weird about, but every time you go, you have a perfectly good meal. The people are nice, but if someone said where do you want to go for dinner, it would be the sixth option you’d name. Do you have a favorite protein bar? Let us know in the comments!
DOG CONTENT AHEAD
Every night after (her) dinner, Marge swishes over to the built-in where I keep her treats and does the most pathetic yet relentless moan-and-groan while shifting her gaze between me and the upper cabinet. The reason she does this is because I keep buying her incredible dog treats. I am a complete whore for boutique dog treats. This brand, Icelandic+, is my/her favorite. We’ve tried the rolls, the crisps, the chews, the bites. They cost one million dollars. If I go broke, it is because of Marge (in general) and this brand (in particular). If anyone has a lead on an endless fish skin supply that I can procure to start dehydrating in my Breville oven, HMU.